Let's Talk About Compassion

When I was a little boy, my kindergarten teacher wrote on one of my report cards, "Unusually Compassionate". She probably doesn't realize just how much those two words have changed my life. My teacher got this idea because when any of the kids hurt themselves on the playground, I was the kid who ran to the teachers and asked for the first aid kit. I bandaged other people's wounds. 

In recent years, I've noticed an uptick in how much I hear the word compassion being used. This brings me joy, but it is also troubling because I think people are forgetting to also have balance. I've thought a lot about what it means to be compassionate, and I'll continue to do so because in doing so I know that I'm growing in the right direction. 

The conclusions I've come to about compassion are these:

• Our compassion is incomplete if it does not extend to ourselves. 

By that I mean we need to learn to be wisely selfish. If we aren't taking care of ourselves and extinguishing our own anger at the outrageous injustices we face then we're not going to be able to really do any good in whatever cause we seek to help. Anger may seem to work, but it should only ever be used as a motivator to non-violent action. If we are running into burning buildings, we must put on our own oxygen mask first!

• Sometimes shutting others out can be the compassionate thing to do.

Say you've got someone in your circle who seems to thrive on drama. All they do is bring those around them down. I think that person needs to be forced to be alone. They are caught up in drama and only when they are forced to be alone will they have a chance to reflect. Their addiction to drama won't allow them to self-reflect because they are too busy stirring the pot. We can all learn and grow, but if we keep others around who aren't interested in doing so, we're only hurting our own progress. Wisely selfish. 

• True compassion is strength, not weakness. 

I think a lot of people confuse compassion for weakness, especially people who've not recognized just how hard it is to be calm in the face of adversity. Being compassionate doesn't mean you have to play the victim or be a doormat to others. It means you do your best not to harm others with your words or actions. It means recognizing when others aren't acting in a compassionate manner and having the strength to let them know they're not being compassionate without attacking their character. It's important to remember we all have bad days, where we just want to act out. See that for what it is, human suffering. Label it as such and attempt to move from there. 

• Offending someone is not an act of cruelty.

In an effort to be compassionate and to receive compassion people sometimes overreact. They will take offense to something you've said or done but offense stems from within ourselves. Regularly we forget that we are the ones driving our bodies, not people outside of us. No one can make me feel anything without my permission. We simply don't have to let what someone else says affect us. Hearing something we disagree with can be a good thing. It can be an opportunity to grow. We cannot grow if we do not seek out opportunities to experience things outside of our own comfort zones.

There are many more things I could probably say about compassion, but these are the first that come to mind. These are the things that I don't think I see people getting on a general basis. I will make it my life's work to learn about compassion and ways to implement it. I love this planet, and I love all the animals, even the one I complain about most, the human animal. 

I hope my readers will take a moment to reflect on compassion. Think about your daily interactions and ask yourself, is this the most compassionate way that I can handle this? We all fail, it's important not to beat yourself up over your failures. If you have failed, you have learned something. I will work on taking my own advice because I'm not some great sage. I really balls things up sometimes. We're all human after all. 

Take care of yourselves so you can take care of the ones you love. 

Namasté