Time to Change How We Handle Death
Have you ever spent any time thinking about how we culturally handle death here in America? Have you noticed that when someone dies it's suddenly taboo to speak the truth about their character? Suddenly even the worst tempered person becomes a saint.
Sometimes I wonder if the way we handle death in our society causes suicidal ideation in some members of our population. I mean, I've noticed that it's perfectly okay to reem someone about all the faults you may think they have, but the moment they're gone,.. oh they were such a great person.
No one wants to be constantly told all about their faults, but it seems that fault finding comes very easy to us as a culture. After all, even when it comes to our consumerism, people will more readily complain about a product than they will praise it.
My great grandmother, I am told, use to say "Bring me my flowers while I'm still here, they're of no use to me when I'm gone." and I fully agree with this sentiment. We need to tell people the good things we think about them while they're here. We need to stop making saints out of our past loved ones. If uncle so and so was a raging alcoholic it's not a good idea to try and paint him a saint. No he was a raging alcoholic, but maybe he was also a good person when he tried to be. Painting someone up as a saint once they're gone is just ridiculous.
Repainting someone after they're gone is, to me, one of the ultimate forms of denial. We all want to be Dr. Pangloss and pretend that this is the best of all possible worlds, but we really need to be more like Candide and see reality. Ask questions, How can we be good people if we hide our faults and the faults of others? People need to know that everyone is a flawed human being, and that's okay.
I challenge all who read this to be mindful of how many times you speak ill of someone VS how many times you compliment someone. In their absence of course. Think about the people around you, are you more prone to point out their faults than the good about their character? If you are, please stop it, and if you can't stop it, then the next time someone around you dies, don't suddenly pretend you thought they were a saint. It's disingenuous and makes you look like a fake, and a fool.
Sometimes I wonder if the way we handle death in our society causes suicidal ideation in some members of our population. I mean, I've noticed that it's perfectly okay to reem someone about all the faults you may think they have, but the moment they're gone,.. oh they were such a great person.
No one wants to be constantly told all about their faults, but it seems that fault finding comes very easy to us as a culture. After all, even when it comes to our consumerism, people will more readily complain about a product than they will praise it.
My great grandmother, I am told, use to say "Bring me my flowers while I'm still here, they're of no use to me when I'm gone." and I fully agree with this sentiment. We need to tell people the good things we think about them while they're here. We need to stop making saints out of our past loved ones. If uncle so and so was a raging alcoholic it's not a good idea to try and paint him a saint. No he was a raging alcoholic, but maybe he was also a good person when he tried to be. Painting someone up as a saint once they're gone is just ridiculous.
Repainting someone after they're gone is, to me, one of the ultimate forms of denial. We all want to be Dr. Pangloss and pretend that this is the best of all possible worlds, but we really need to be more like Candide and see reality. Ask questions, How can we be good people if we hide our faults and the faults of others? People need to know that everyone is a flawed human being, and that's okay.
I challenge all who read this to be mindful of how many times you speak ill of someone VS how many times you compliment someone. In their absence of course. Think about the people around you, are you more prone to point out their faults than the good about their character? If you are, please stop it, and if you can't stop it, then the next time someone around you dies, don't suddenly pretend you thought they were a saint. It's disingenuous and makes you look like a fake, and a fool.
Comments
Post a Comment