Ramblings of an Appalachian Transman

I've been seeing a lot of people saying they're "triggered" when in actuality, they have no idea what that word means. If something upsets you, it's not "triggering" you, it's simply upsetting you, learn to deal with your emotions and quit trying to police everyone else.  A true trigger is something that brings someone to their knees in a full on panic or anxiety attack. It is an involuntary response to a stimulus that cannot be controlled without help from a psychiatric professional. It is not something that merely offends you.  To continue using this word as for offenses taken rather than it's actual meaning is doing a disservice to people who truly do have a trigger and are trying to raise awareness to the fact that sometimes people have odd triggers.  I have my own triggers, I have a few that I've identified. I don't look to everyone else to tailor themselves for my comfort still. If they are a close friend, then they will ...

So in my search to try and figure out what is up with my brain. I stumbled upon a rare genetic condition called Williams Syndrome. I don't have it, it's a clear cut case either you have the gene deletion or you don't. I do share a lot of personality traits with people who have this genetic issue.  Williams Syndrome people are extremely compassionate and affectionate. They have to be reminded that not everyone is a friend. Internet safety is a big deal right now in the Williams community because these kids are entirely trusting.  Individuals with Williams share a love of music. I'm a complete audiophile. I could totally sit down and play music with these kids and have a great time. A lot of them are musically gifted and play instruments or sing.  The worst part about Williams Syndrome is that kids with Williams have physical health complications that range in severity. Some live near normal lives, others have problems with their organs. The most common is cardiovas...

Today I read an article about how school lunch programs here in the United States are singling out children who come from lower socioeconomic tiers. Children who can't pay for their lunches are being called out in front of other students, being forced to work to pay off debts that their parents can't pay.  WHAT FUCKING WORLD AM I LIVING IN?!?!?!?!?! Can someone please answer me how anyone can say with a straight face that we aren't waging a class warfare? We are still in feudal times, we are not some advanced civilization, we still have a lot of work to do. We are barely civilized.  No child should be expected to work to pay for their lunches. Kids should just get to fucking eat! Adults should be fucking intelligent enough to realize that kids are extremely sensitive to differences and none of them want to be singled out as less than their peers. Having a monetary economy is inherently classist, this cannot be fixed, but its effects can be diminished while we try to fix...

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility in honor of that I'd like to share my story. So go grab a cup of tea and settle into your bus seat, or your comfy chair at home. This is a synopsis of what I've seen as a transgender person who grew up in small town KY, at the foot of the Appalachian mountains.  I was born in Jellico, TN in February of nineteen eighty-four. The doctor slapped me on the ass and declared me a bouncing baby girl. I promptly let him know what I thought of that, and peed on him. I've kept this attitude about me every since, you're entitled to your opinion and I to mine, we don't have to agree, and you're not entitled to my respect either. Respect is something that must be earned, as is trust.  I've always done my best to present as male, even while everyone around me insisted that I was female. Even before I had a word for it, I knew I had something different about me. When I found out about the physical differences between boys and ...

When I was a little boy, my kindergarten teacher wrote on one of my report cards, "Unusually Compassionate". She probably doesn't realize just how much those two words have changed my life. My teacher got this idea because when any of the kids hurt themselves on the playground, I was the kid who ran to the teachers and asked for the first aid kit. I bandaged other people's wounds.  In recent years, I've noticed an uptick in how much I hear the word compassion being used. This brings me joy, but it is also troubling because I think people are forgetting to also have balance. I've thought a lot about what it means to be compassionate, and I'll continue to do so because in doing so I know that I'm growing in the right direction.  The conclusions I've come to about compassion are these: Our compassion is incomplete if it does not extend to ourselves.  By that I mean we need to learn to be wisely selfish. If we aren't taking care of oursel...

For the first ten years of my transition, I didn't seek out other trans people. I didn't seek out any type of support. I just talked with my therapist and worked on becoming more comfortable with myself and the welcome, but awkward changes I was going through. I was afraid that by reaching out, I would just find another group of people that wouldn't be able to love me for me, and I didn't care to go there.  I regret to inform you that I was absolutely right in being afraid of just that. About five years ago, I started trying to engage other transpeople. I have made a few friends with other guys like me, but just like when I was interacting with only the cis community, I have found that I generally don't fit in. I am thankful for the few friends I've made who are like me. I would like to find more, but I have realized that I'm not alone so I don't need to seek out like minds anymore. In fact, I don't want to.  I can see the harm this compartmentaliz...

So I'm going to start doing this thing. Every now and again, I'm going to put the spotlight on people around me. If they're okay with that. And if they're not okay with it, I'll just give them a fake name because I feel like everyone who is doing good needs to have the spotlight put on them every now and again.  I want to start off doing what I feel is right. At the core of my being, I feel like if we're asking for others to bring awareness to what we're doing, then we need to be willing to do the same for them.  My friend Randy is a great guy. I met Randy through a Facebook group for transgender individuals. We added each other to our friend's list and the rest is history so to speak. Randy is one of the major reasons why I stay on Facebook, and why I can't completely dismiss it as a viable means of communication. I've never met him face to face, we've only ever spoken online. It's not going to stay that way forever, we'll ev...