Please Don't Listen to Transtrenders!

I've been thinking a lot lately about this term, Transtrenders. At first, I honestly didn't want to believe that some people think it's trendy to be trans. I've learned though that it's not really about being trendy. These people have major self-esteem issues, and probably a host of other psychological issues. Please, have compassion for them, but don't listen to their nonsensical bullshit. 

I'm not going to call anyone out by name in this article. I refuse to do so because I don't want to risk giving these people views when you look them up on Youtube. If you're familiar with the trans part of the LGBT movement, then you're probably familiar with at least one or two trans trenders. 

A little back story about me. I started transition at eighteen years of age. And the entire time I was in transition I did not seek out the rest of the trans community because I was attempting to just be myself.  I didn't really care to engage. My transition was about being true to who I was and I didn't want to have others around who might influence me. In short, I didn't want attention for it. That's why there was no youtube channel, that's why I don't have a timeline of pictures or voice recordings. It wasn't about attention. 

Trans trenders are thirsty for attention for some reason, a reason that is probably a mystery to themselves as well. I too, love attention, I'm not going to lie and I think if you are honest with yourself, gentle reader, you like attention too. Most people have healthy ways to go about getting the attention that we all need. We are social animals, so when someone says "Well, they're just doing that for attention." I almost want to facepalm. Yes, and you just said that for attention. If we don't want attention, we shut up and lock ourselves in empty rooms. 

When I say, don't listen to trans trenders, I don't mean for you to attack them or treat them badly in anyway. Just ignore them. And please, don't think that they are truly transgender. They are the ones giving the community a bad name. Every person who thinks trans people are just confused, they see trans trenders as their proof. 

So how can you call a duck a duck and make sure you're not looking at a trans trender? If they use the buzz word choice, a lot, they're probably trending. It has absolutely nothing to do with choice. Every hormone I've taken, every surgery I've had was NOT a choice, and I've still got work to do before I can feel like I'm completely who I need to be. 

 By definition being transgender means you perceive yourself to be the gender opposite of the one you were born. People call you x but you feel y. The brain cannot be convinced otherwise. You just are who you are. It gets so bad that 41% of trans people will attempt suicide. I myself attempted 4 times before I was old enough to do what was right for me. They were serious attempts too, not just cries for help. 

In my opinion the attempted suicide rate has multiple factors. It's not simply being trans that causes the ideation and attempts. Society has a lot to do with it. We are social creatures, not solitary ones. So it's a combination of looking in the mirror and not seeing those characteristics of, in my case, a male body, that causes some issue. Honestly, the worst part of it is public perception, and the fact that society sees trans people as sick or broken. We're not, we're just different. 

Trans trenders will try to tell you that gender isn't binary. I disagree. There are two sexes, there are two genders for the brain. They may ramble on about the "social construct" of gender but it's highly illogical. It's almost like these people have just enough knowledge to be dangerous but not enough to really know what the fuck they're talking about. Gender and gender as a social construct are two entirely different things. 

Gender, as in people's mental gender, you're either male or female. Some people don't really identify as either and that's okay, and if they're emotionally stable they understand that you're going to call them the gender that they most appear like. 

The gender as a social construct line that we keep hearing out of these people is just how we culturally view masculinity and femininity. Which I agree there's a lot of crap there. But we don't need a bunch of new ways to identify. What we need to do is make it okay for people to be people and to realize that no one is 100% masculine and no one is 100% feminine. Views on masculinity and femininity vary between cultures, here in America we  have stereotypes that don't fit everyone. I will save this rambling for another blog, but just know that Trans trenders really are confused. They seem to be conflating actual gender and social expectations of gender. 

Then there's the argument I've heard some trans trenders make where they say gender is "just a social construct" and it "doesn't really exist". What the actual fuck? Um, no, just no..  Gender actually does exist. That is an extremely stupid argument and defeats the purpose of even being ACTUALLY transgender. 

These people are seriously confused and they're making it worse for people like Leelah Alcorn, who is no longer with us because her gender was so real to her that she couldn't wait another year to be 18 to tell her parents to fuck off so she could be the beautiful woman she could have been. 

Trans trenders are hurting actual trans people by adding to the confusion surrounding what it is to be trans. At the end of the day, please don't do trans trenders any harm, they're suffering. But please, don't listen to their bullshit and let it shape your view of actual trans people. All human beings just need love, and it's okay to not understand. But please, any emotionally stable person will welcome your questions if they're genuine and not too invasive for how well you know the person. So just ask questions when you don't understand something, and keep asking questions and keep an open mind. Keep learning! Keep growing as individuals.