An Open Letter to My High School Social Studies Teacher
Dear High School Social Studies Teacher:
I often think about my time spent in your class. One day in particular that you have probably long since forgotten. A day that in your mind was probably just a day like any other. You see, I struggled really hard as a teen, harder than most, because I had internal stuff going on that the other kids didn't, internal stuff that was being ignored and neglected by the adults around me.
I had your class first thing in the morning. It was a particularly rough morning, dealing with all the various things I was dealing with. So I took the time to finish listening to a song before coming to class. A song that was providing comfort for me, helping me get my emotional state together so that I could attend your class.
I walked into your class maybe 5 minutes late. I was struggling emotionally, and you yelled at me. You had an outburst of toddler proportions. All I can remember from your ranting and raving was the words "Some day music won't mean that much to you!".
Well, it's years since and I still think about this moment. I want you to know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. I had enough bullies in the hallways, I did not need my teacher adding to it. If anything the abuse I suffered at the hands of authoritarian teachers such as yourself was worse than the kids in the hallways.
When we have these anti-bully campaigns we need to include teachers in that bully category. Do not be your students bully! You bullied your students, except for the few that you took a shining to.
I was appalled the day I found out you had become a principal. "Great, now she can really bully the kids!" I thought to myself. I don't think teaching was a good profession for you to go into. I don't think you had the temperament for it.
I want you to know, music still means that much to me! It still means everything to me! It's still my refuge. I still write and play my guitar and I will always love music. Music is an extremely healing artform.
Here's what I think about your class. You had a sign, on your wall. "Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it." That's funny. Especially when we look at where we are at politically today. I think it is not enough to learn to regurgitate history, the way you taught it. You taught it without soul. You never brought it to life and never made it inspirational because you put your students on edge. They never knew when you might throw another hissy fit over something insignificant.
I was not a tardy child, I was generally on time and even early to class because I had very few friends. You must have been having a bad day, you had a lot of those. Is it possible you are bipolar? It's okay if you are. We need to break the mental health stigma in this country.
I check and see that you're not principal anymore, this is good news, but you're still employed as a Social Studies teacher.
I hope you have changed. I hope the years have mellowed you out some. You were a young teacher when I had your class. To be fair, it's possible you were still young and dumb yourself. I hope you're not still screaming at your students. I hope your voice has softened. I hope you've learned to have more compassion for yourself and your students. I really hope you've changed.
I want you to know, I don't hold any ill feelings toward you. Holding onto anger, I've learned is like holding onto a burning ember waiting to throw it at someone else. The only person who gets burned is yourself. I just hope for the sake of all the students that will go through the doors of that school that you have mellowed out. That you have quit with the abusive yelling and screaming.
I usually wasn't the target of your anger, but just that once that I can remember was enough, and it was conduct unbecoming of a teacher. Students don't learn well if they're depressed, if they're anxious, if they have a horrible home life and teachers adding to that.
I hope that you've learned to pay attention to your students. I hope that you've learned how to gently guide them and how to not get so upset with the troubled kids. The troubled kids are the ones that need compassion the most. This authoritarian bullshit, needs to stop, it really does. Love your students, or please, for the sake of this country, remove yourself from your job. If it's just a job to you, if you're not happy leave. If you're not happy you can't help your students to learn better.
I hope you're not taking your class so seriously these days. I hope you're doing well. I know on your good days you were a decent teacher, I just don't recall you having many of those. You seemed to think that your job was to keep your students under your thumb. It's not, it's to teach them.
I know teaching isn't an easy job, but you chose it. Please try to remember why. I'm sure it wasn't for the money, no one teaches in this country for the money because there is none. I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the good times, my brain is just like that. I have way more bad than good memories. I know you're not a horrible person. Please don't think that I'm painting you that way, but I'm also not going to let you look in the mirror and see a pristine saint. You need to know that kind of behavior wasn't acceptable. If you wouldn't want your students to act that way, then don't you dare act that way. Set the example.
I hope things are better for you. Maybe you were going through something I'm not aware of. So this is my closure, because I won't be approaching you for it. You probably don't even remember me. If you do want to go out for coffee sometime though, I would be open to it. I'm not holding grudges on anyone anymore. Life is to short to be pissed off all the time.
Best wishes to you and yours!
I often think about my time spent in your class. One day in particular that you have probably long since forgotten. A day that in your mind was probably just a day like any other. You see, I struggled really hard as a teen, harder than most, because I had internal stuff going on that the other kids didn't, internal stuff that was being ignored and neglected by the adults around me.
I had your class first thing in the morning. It was a particularly rough morning, dealing with all the various things I was dealing with. So I took the time to finish listening to a song before coming to class. A song that was providing comfort for me, helping me get my emotional state together so that I could attend your class.
I walked into your class maybe 5 minutes late. I was struggling emotionally, and you yelled at me. You had an outburst of toddler proportions. All I can remember from your ranting and raving was the words "Some day music won't mean that much to you!".
Well, it's years since and I still think about this moment. I want you to know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. I had enough bullies in the hallways, I did not need my teacher adding to it. If anything the abuse I suffered at the hands of authoritarian teachers such as yourself was worse than the kids in the hallways.
When we have these anti-bully campaigns we need to include teachers in that bully category. Do not be your students bully! You bullied your students, except for the few that you took a shining to.
I was appalled the day I found out you had become a principal. "Great, now she can really bully the kids!" I thought to myself. I don't think teaching was a good profession for you to go into. I don't think you had the temperament for it.
I want you to know, music still means that much to me! It still means everything to me! It's still my refuge. I still write and play my guitar and I will always love music. Music is an extremely healing artform.
Here's what I think about your class. You had a sign, on your wall. "Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it." That's funny. Especially when we look at where we are at politically today. I think it is not enough to learn to regurgitate history, the way you taught it. You taught it without soul. You never brought it to life and never made it inspirational because you put your students on edge. They never knew when you might throw another hissy fit over something insignificant.
I was not a tardy child, I was generally on time and even early to class because I had very few friends. You must have been having a bad day, you had a lot of those. Is it possible you are bipolar? It's okay if you are. We need to break the mental health stigma in this country.
I check and see that you're not principal anymore, this is good news, but you're still employed as a Social Studies teacher.
I hope you have changed. I hope the years have mellowed you out some. You were a young teacher when I had your class. To be fair, it's possible you were still young and dumb yourself. I hope you're not still screaming at your students. I hope your voice has softened. I hope you've learned to have more compassion for yourself and your students. I really hope you've changed.
I want you to know, I don't hold any ill feelings toward you. Holding onto anger, I've learned is like holding onto a burning ember waiting to throw it at someone else. The only person who gets burned is yourself. I just hope for the sake of all the students that will go through the doors of that school that you have mellowed out. That you have quit with the abusive yelling and screaming.
I usually wasn't the target of your anger, but just that once that I can remember was enough, and it was conduct unbecoming of a teacher. Students don't learn well if they're depressed, if they're anxious, if they have a horrible home life and teachers adding to that.
I hope that you've learned to pay attention to your students. I hope that you've learned how to gently guide them and how to not get so upset with the troubled kids. The troubled kids are the ones that need compassion the most. This authoritarian bullshit, needs to stop, it really does. Love your students, or please, for the sake of this country, remove yourself from your job. If it's just a job to you, if you're not happy leave. If you're not happy you can't help your students to learn better.
I hope you're not taking your class so seriously these days. I hope you're doing well. I know on your good days you were a decent teacher, I just don't recall you having many of those. You seemed to think that your job was to keep your students under your thumb. It's not, it's to teach them.
I know teaching isn't an easy job, but you chose it. Please try to remember why. I'm sure it wasn't for the money, no one teaches in this country for the money because there is none. I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the good times, my brain is just like that. I have way more bad than good memories. I know you're not a horrible person. Please don't think that I'm painting you that way, but I'm also not going to let you look in the mirror and see a pristine saint. You need to know that kind of behavior wasn't acceptable. If you wouldn't want your students to act that way, then don't you dare act that way. Set the example.
I hope things are better for you. Maybe you were going through something I'm not aware of. So this is my closure, because I won't be approaching you for it. You probably don't even remember me. If you do want to go out for coffee sometime though, I would be open to it. I'm not holding grudges on anyone anymore. Life is to short to be pissed off all the time.
Best wishes to you and yours!
Comments
Post a Comment